You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
