its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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