I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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