Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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