I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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