So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
