Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize