I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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