ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize