Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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