I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
