Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
