How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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