your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
