It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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