You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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