i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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