Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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