this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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