You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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