Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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