My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
