I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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