There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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