Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
