her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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