Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
