is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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