No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
