Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
