also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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