There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
