His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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