so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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