then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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