When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
