I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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