He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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