Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers