what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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