Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
