Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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