apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
