So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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