Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
