question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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