I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
