Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
