i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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