I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
