Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
