How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
that is very illegal...i love you.
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