I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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