Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
and she was petting her beer can
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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