News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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