Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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