I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize