At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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