Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
