Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
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did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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