my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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