that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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