5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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