Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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