I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
