Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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